It’s a fun pair again today!

Yay for Lego! Okay, they’re not real Lego. I know, because I tried to stack them and they wouldn’t attach. Very disappointing. But they look really cool on, I think.

If you’re distracted by my fab purple nails, I don’t blame you. I had to go to Westfield to have another eye scan before my laser eye surgery (all good to go!), and ended up doing a spot of shopping, seeing as I was there and all. I got some comfy and cute sandals for summer and treated myself to a mani/pedi. Very much needed!

And oh! oh! New necklace: robot girl in skirt!

 

Anyway, enough shopping.

Last night, I went to see The Mystery of Edwin Drood – The Solve-It-Yourself musical. It’s based on the novel Dickens was writing when he died, so it doesn’t have an ending. Here’s where the solve-it-yourself bit comes in.

The show is playing in the small Arts Theatre in the West End, one I’ve not been in before. It’s a cosy venue with a rather small stage, and the show is very much an audience participation sort of thing. The cast is wandering about when we come in, leading the crowd in singalongs with songs from a song sheet you’re given when you arrive. I didn’t know any of the songs and feel I’m missing something there, but I sang along the best I could and enjoyed it.

The setup is a show within a show, as we’re invited to a music hall with a cast that are introduced as they come along. Edwin Drood is played by a woman (Kara Lily Hayworth, a woman I will never forget) and introduced as the best male impersonator on the circuit. The added level introduced some extra subplot and motivations for the actors as well.

The first act was at times fairly predictable in characters and story, albeit very enjoyably so. In the last ensemble number before the interval however there was a bit of a mishap as the cast were dancing around the stage, walking over chairs and at one point over a table, where one slipped and almost fell as the table tipped forward. It was a close call, and about a minute later I realised it’d had the unfortunate side effect that our Edwin Drood had gotten smacked in the face. At first I just noticed a bit of a sniffle, then as Edwin faces the crowd, we all realise that there’s blood running down Kara Lily Hayworth’s face. And she did. Not. Skip. A. Beat.

I have never seen anything like it. I’ve seen many performances and I’ve seen some prop mishaps etc before, but I have never seen anyone with real blood streaming down their face, and that everyone kept going without as much as a raised eyebrow to notice left me completely awestruck. Me, I was absolutely horrified. She returned after the interval with no visible marks or anything, and I happened to have someone who knew her next to me in the stalls. She’s fine, thank god. But WOW. What a pro! Talk about suffering for your arts. I have to take my hat off to Hayworth, I will never be able to forget the woman who got smacked in the face and kept going with blood all over her face.

But back to the show. When we got to the end of the book, votes by show of hands were taken to decide who the mysterious new character Dick Datchery was, and of course as to who killed Edwin Drood himself. I asked the guy next to me if it really was different every night, and he assured me it was. In our version, the murderer was Reverend Crisparkle, which makes no sense whatsoever really, but it was fun to watch. We also got to vote as two which two characters get a happy romantic ending, and the song that came about for this bit was the funniest part of the evening for me.

I’d be a fool if I didn’t mention that Wendi Peters is in this show. She is best known for Coronation Street, which I have never watched. She playes the opium dealer Princess Puffer, and is quite frankly amazing. She had the best song in the entire piece, a lament named Garden Path to Hell, a beautiful and moving song.

All in all a very good time. Strong cast, good songs, great environment and plenty of laugh, but the biggest impression it left on me is that Kara Lily Hayworth is a professional badass. Bravo!

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

I’m really excited about this project! When Matt suggested it, I thought it was a very good idea. So for the first day, I’ve picked a very fitting pair that I got last night at Claire’s.

Yup, they’re teeny tiny light bulbs! Here’s what they look like on:

I think they’re really cool. It’s a shame they don’t light up!

Today’s surprise news for me is that apparently Men in Black III doesn’t suck – it’s currently at 66% fresh at Rotten Tomatoes! I think that’s the movie I’m going to see this week.

I have a cineworld unlimited subscription, which means I pay £17.99 a month and go to the cinema as often as I want. This has the slightly unintended effect of my threshold for seeing a film in the cinema is much, much lower. If it’s not going to cost you any more, then why wait for the DVD?  That’s how you end up being bored at the Long Cold Light of Day or whatever it was called, all I can remember was that Henry Cavill is very pretty and Bruce Willis is his dad. I don’t recommend it.

There has been some wicked films this year so far. I’ve seen The Avengers three times already and am considering another visit when my mum comes over next week. It is just that much fun, and like the rest of the internet I appear to be growing a bit of a crush on Tom Hiddleston, who plays Loki. He makes it worse by being awesome, of course. Although for me the character who really makes the movie is The Hulk. I absolutely adore Mark Ruffalo in this movie, both his Banner and his Hulk went far beyond my expectations. Avengers Assemble is most certainly my film of the year so far, with Hunger Games following close behind it. Hunger Games is also a brilliant book trilogy so if you haven’t picked that up yet, I highly recommend it.

Tonight I’m meeting my friend and former colleague Scott for dinner, before I wander off to see The Mystery of Edwin Drood at the Arts Theatre. It’s a musical version and transferred from Landor Theatre in Clapham. I didn’t have the chance to see it then, but I’ve heard really good things. I’ll tell you in the morning how it was.

I hope your day is as sunny and beautiful like London is right now!

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

Internets, there is something you may not know about me: I love earrings. I’m not big on jewellery in general, but I adore earrings. Especially novelty earrings.

A few months ago I had this funny idea of wearing a different pair of earrings every day for a week, as my goal for that week. It was a bit silly, a little the made me happy. I mentioned this to my colleague Matt, and he asked me how many earrings I have. I honestly couldn’t even begin to guess. So he said, why not a whole month? Do you think you have enough for that? And I’m pretty sure I do.

So starting in the morning, I’m going to go for it. My initial target is a month, but I’m curious to see how long I can keep it up. And everything is more fun with blogging, ri?

Rules!

• I have to wear a pair of earrings every day
• I cannot have worn the pair previously in the project
• I have to wear the earrings proper, not just take a picture of myself in the evening with a pair
• I have to post a picture of each pair
• The blog post must also continue some other content
• Sample content

• A show I’ve seen
• A book I’ve read/am reading
• What’s stuck on repeat on my ipod
• Something new that’s happening
• Something old I’ve not talked about for ages
• It cannot be about the guinea pigs

Any rules suggestions I should add?

The goal is two-fold. I want to get back into the habit of writing in my blog again. The last year I hardly wrote at all, because I don’t think I could manage to get the words out about how I was feeling.

The other thing is that while I’m exercising a lot and watching what I eat, I am also out of the habit of trying to look nice for myself. Earrings are something that makes me happy and is a small step towards being that me again who felt confident walking down the street.

I believe in small goals. Small goals are good. This is just for fun, but hopefully indicative of a change towards re-discovering joy at last. It’s been a lot of pain and a lot of hard work for the last year, and I’d like some joy. Roll on summer, I’m ready!

 

Oh and if you know somewhere that sells awesome earrings, do tell!

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

Phwoar.

 

As you were.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

It’s mentally expensive and I can’t really afford it, but I’m taking the plunge. In 16 days I’m having laser eye surgery! No more contact lenses, no more glasses. It’s absolutely going to be worth it!

The trial goes on, and I don’t want to talk about it any more. At the moment it’s all about the witness statements of the people at the island, and some of it is really tough to read. At the same time I can’t really look away, it seems too important to me to know precisely how this thing is going down. The Norwegian public are beautiful and calm, no angry mobs or pitchforks. Instead, there’s roses and singalongs. I couldn’t be more proud.

My own life is running along at a ridiculously high tempo, which I expect will come back and bite me in the arse at some point. Here’s my schedule for this week, outside work:

1. Monday: Laser eye surgery consultation – 2 hours
2. Tuesday: Tap dance class 7:45-9pm
3. Wednesday: Zumba class 6:20-7:20pm
4. Thursday: Ballet class 7:45-9pm
5. Friday: Seeing the Sedos production of Spring Awakening as I know the girl who plays Wendla
6. Saturday: 10:30am Osteopath session, matinee of Sunshine Boys, possible rewatch of Avengers in the eve.
7. Sunday: my calendar claims I’m seeing my father, but I don’t know the details of where or when. I suppose he’s in town.

Yeah, most of my weeks are this busy.  I come home after 9pm, eat dinner and go to bed. I always feed my pets before myself, as well.

Many, many people ask me how I do it. Truth be told, I have no idea. I don’t think I could keep up this level of energy if I wasn’t so completely motivated on my life changing. If I was still in a relationship, this wouldn’t have been possible at all. What does get neglected the most are my Chinese coursework and this here blog. So that’s why I’m hardly ever posting anymore.

Some good things:

1. I have a new job! It’s fab and I like it there very much.
2. I moved back into the flat I used to share with Mr Pharmacist. He’s not there, obviously. I’m renting it with two others and I’m happy with the location and having more space again. Plus, cheaper.
3. I’ve seen a ton of cool stuff in the theatre in the last year that I mean to post about and never get around to. Boo me.
4. I’m performing as part of the ensemble of Sweet Charity at the Shaw Theatre on June 23rd. Tickets are on sale now!
5. Over Easter I did an intensive 5 day musical theatre course, learning and performing a slightly cut down version of Cabaret. It was very useful and I learnt a lot.
6. I’m going to New York in October! Mostly to see Book of Mormon, although I found out that the two leads are now leaving the show so it’s not quite as awesome as it was two days ago…

So that’s what’s going on!

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

It’s been really tough to follow the trial in Oslo for the last week. The terrorist has been on the stand for the past week, ending yesterday. I applaud the work of the lawyers involved, this is tough enough to watch from a distance. To deal with this calmly and professionally is something I don’t think I would be able to do.

There is a lot of talk about whether or not the terrorist is sane in the eyes of the law. There are many good arguments for both views, but something that seems clearer to me now is that the terrorist himself desperately wants to be ruled sane. His world view and justification for his actions all rests on the premise that he is a soldier in a war, that his actions were necessary. Deeming him sane and sentenced to a prison sentence for the rest of his life would partially validate it to him. He is fighting hard against being viewed as mentally unstable in any way. If it was up to him, he’d be sentenced to death, and he’d be a martyr like he wanted all along. But we haven’t sentenced anyone to death since the post-WW2 days, and the last person executed in Norway was in 1948. We’re not changing our laws for this case.

I’ve seen a lot of articles and heard a lot of people that argue the point that ruling him to be criminally insane would  be letting him off lightly. Firstly, don’t let there be any mistake about this: Breivik is never walking the streets of Norway again as a free man. Regardless of the outcome of the trial, that’s never going to happen. The Norwegian justice system does have a maximum sentence of 21 years, this is true. But that doesn’t mean that someone who is ruled a continued danger to society is automatically let out after 21 years. There are laws in place to prevent that, after 21 years he can be held to another three years at a time for the rest of his life. 

Secondly, it’s starting to become really clear that in his eyes, being sent to a mental institution would be the ultimate failure and the worst punishment. If the system deems him to be criminally insane, it means we’re not taking his manifesto, his great plan, his important “work”, seriously. We’re dismissing him entirely. Nothing could be worse for him. As was put very nicely in the Norwegian paper Aftenposten, he sees himself as a knight,  and “It simply would not do to send a knight to the nut house”. (Link to Norwegian article)

Is he actually insane? I don’t know. I almost want to see him be ruled insane anyway, if nothing else to wipe that annoying smile off his face. And if he is ruled insane, I want him to have so much therapy that he eventually aren’t able to distance himself from what he did anymore, to fully realise what he’s done. And I want the faces of all those dead teens to haunt him until his dying day.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

If you are linked to this post from anywhere and don’t know the context, please google ‘Norway 22 july 2011′. 

I am in awe of prosecutor Inga Bejer Engh. I want to send this woman flowers. She is strong and relentless in her questioning of the terrorist, and he is frequently annoyed by her. I have been deeply impressed with her self control in this really difficult job and how she refuses to let him run the show, much to his annoyance.  At times, she made him look absolutely ludicrous. It’s beautiful. She is absolutely amazing. I’ve linked to a bio of her below.

Inga Bejer Engh has friendly blue eyes and a ready smile but behind that exterior lies a dogged prosecutor who is unfazed despite Norway gunman Anders Behring Breivik’s refusal to answer questions.

I believe he is even more annoyed with having to listen to her questions as she is a woman and he clearly believes a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Yes, you can add misogynist to the list of traits of the terrorist.

It’s tough to read the notes from the trial. Today’s especially bad, as it’s his testimony about what happened at Utøya island. Thankfully, all the gory details aren’t posted where I’m reading, but apparently he’s describing the shootings in details. He seems entirely cold. He is a horrible, horrible person.

 

Oh yes, there was a quick talk about his gaming habits, like how he played World of Warcraft for about a year after he moved back in with his mother. ABB wants to frame this as a gift he gave himself as a sabbatical before going ahead with the martyrdom, to which I can only say yeah, sure. That’s believable. He is deeply obsessed with how he’s viewed and doesn’t want to be seen as someone who lost all his investments and then got addicted to WoW. This is obviously how it really went down, no matter what he says. It has little relevance to the trial in anything else than a piece of evidence proving how he’s re-imagined his past to fit in with this story of his that he planned the operation for ten years, which from the testimony so far seems completely false. That’s all. Even he says it isn’t relevant. He does say he used another game for “target practice” which seems ridiculous as well.

To be honest, even mentioning this seems like a waste of time because it’s so god damn irrelevant. I know there’s a lot of articles on ye olde internets regarding ABB and WoW, but it’s diverting the attention away from what’s important. This was not a gamer gone mad. This was someone who planned an attack on the Norwegian political system and its people, driven by his political views. Making this a video game discussion is not helping anyone, and it’s not what the trial is about. I’m not going to participate in those discussions.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

I still don’t like typing his name. You know who I mean.

The trial in Norway started today. So far, it’s making me physically unwell.

The bbc has the worst part of it described in such simple terms. At one point of the day, surveillance footage from the bombing was shown to the court.

While victims and their families gasped as they saw the blast, followed by scenes of panic as people fled, Breivik smiled on several occasions.

He fucking smiled.

 

 

There are no words to fully describe how I feel.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

In 2008, I read 44 books. In 2009, I read 51 books. In 2010, I read a whopping 66 books. Last year, I read a pathetic 20 books. Must do better this year! I have a fair few that are works in progress from last year, so that’s part of what happened.

Reading list for 2012:

1. Anthony Rapp – Without You: A memoir of Love, Loss, and the Musical Rentyy
2. Suzanne Collins – The Hunger Games (re-read)
3. Suzanne Collins – Catching Fire (re-read)
4. Suzanne Collins – Mockingjay (re-read)
5. Patrick Ness – The Ask And the Answer
6. Patrick Ness – Monsters of Men
7. Brian Yorkey – Next to Normal (Libretto)
8. Ally Condie – Matched
9. Ally Condie – Crossed
10. Penelope Skinner – Eigengrau (play)
11. Stacey Kade – The Ghost And the Goth
12. Tim Rice – Chess (Libretto)

 

 

2008 list | 2009 list | 2010 list | 2011 list

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

Last year I watched 89 films in total, 53 in the cinema. A big step backwards from the year before, but it was a difficult year. As always, this page will be updated through the year.

So with no further ado, this is my film list for 2012.

At the cinema

1. My Week With Marilyn
2. Haywire
3. The Iron Lady
4. Chronicle
5. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
6. The Muppets
7. The Woman in Black
8. The Muppets*
9. The Hunger Games
10. The Cold Light of Day
11. The Hunger Games*
12. 21 Jump Street
13. Cabin In The Woods
14. Avengers Assemble
15. Avengers Assemble *
16. Dark Shadows
17. Avengers Assemble* (YES, three)

At home and elsewhere

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2*
2. Midnight in Paris
3. The Usual Suspects
4. We Need to Talk About Kevin
5. War Horse
6. The Descendants
7. The Artist
8. Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (documentary)
9. The Help
10. Moneyball
11. Bridesmaids*
12. Paradise Lost part 1 (documentary)
13. Paradise Lost part 2 (documentary)
14. Paradise Lost part 3 (documentary)
15. Crazy, Stupid Love
16. Too big to fail
17. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
18. Drive
19. Because the Bible Told Me So
20. There’s No Business Like Show Business
21. Sabrina *
22. Sabrina (1995 remake)*

Total films: 39

* – denotes repeat viewing

2008 list | 2009 list | 2010 list | 2011 list

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

This is gonna get depressing, isn’t it? Let’s get it over with quickly!

From my goals list last year:

1. Get into shape

I am absolutely in better shape than a year ago. I may not have lost that much weight, but I’m trimmer and more toned, and more flexible than I have ever been. My balance and posture has improved.

2. Get a better sleeping pattern

That only got worse.

3. Get a driver’s license

Um, no. Didn’t even try.

4. Follow my study plan better

Not at all, I withdrew from courses.

5. Knit a garment I can wear that isn’t a hat, scarf or arm warmer

I KNITTED SOCKS! Okay, it was the new year by the time it was a wearable garment and I haven’t finished the second one yet, but TOTALLY COUNTS.

6. Sew a skirt for myself and a shirt for Mr Pharmacist

Nope.

7. Read all the Discworld novels

I wish I’d done that!

8. Be more social

Nope. Terrible.

9. Cull more Stuff

This I did. I’ve sold a lot of my stuff via amazon marketplace.

3 out of 9. Not so great, but it was a difficult year.

 

NEW GOALS.

1. Continue on fitness progress and get back into my black polka dot dress.

I love that dress. I wore it for my 30th birthday party and it won’t zip these days. I’d like to get back into clothes that I still have and love. I’d like to at some point look at myself naked in the mirror and not feel like crying. I’d like to be a healthy fat level rather than having a large stomach on a small frame. I am no longer classified as overweight (I was, a year ago), but I still don’t feel that carrying around belly fat is very good.

2. Read all the discworld novels.

I still find this to be a worthy goal.

3. Set up my computer for recording of music.

I have all the gear, I’m just procrastinating.

4. Complete my Chinese course and be able to have a conversation in Chinese.

I am enjoying learning Mandarin Chinese although it’s very difficult. I really want to be able to go to China one day, and speak Chinese when I’m there.

5. Do a full split/high kick

Ambitious, but I’m a lot more flexible than I used to be and I stretch every day.

6. Do a double pirouette

I can barely do a single without toppling over, but I am determined that this will change. I’m getting closer!

7. Progress to halfway done on the Big Dog Project

I can talk about this here now, because my mother knows. About a year and a half ago, I started a big cross stitch project of my mother’s dog, intended for her 60th birthday. That’s next month and I’m nowhere near it. I love cross stitching and want to get to at least half way. I will blog about it for sure.

8. Get all my credit card balances back to zero

Something I’ve been working on for the last few months and sadly failing. The selling of my stuff thing is a part of this.

9. Stop buying so much stuff.

I have a big problem with buying books and dvds and never watching/reading them. It’s like I think that if I get his book, it will magically get read. I’d estimate I have 60 unread books in my house. I also have way too many handbags. I don’t have too many shoes though, so there’s at least that. I’m a bit of a hoarder and it’s not healthy.

10. Sew a skirt

I have so much fabric lying around.

 

So! I suspect I’ll only  be able to do about half. But ambition is a good thing!

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

November and December flew by surprisingly fast. January is so far bleak and cold, outside and inside. I am very happy to see the back of 2011. Will things turn around for me in 2012? Right now, it seems like it might be more challenges and less wins. It speaks volumes that it’s almost February and I have still yet to write my regular yearly review, which I have done every year (as far as I can recall) since 2002. Ten years is a long time on the internet. It’s a long time in a life. I am absolutely not the same person I was ten years ago, or even one year ago.

Okay, let’s do this.

January

Perhaps the happiest I have ever been. Things with Mr Pharmacist were perfect. We were discussing having children. I insisted on being wed before children, so we got engaged. I was beside myself with joy. I look back at who I was then and sadly shake my head. That girl had no idea what she was about to go through.

February

After years of slowly declining in health and mental awareness, my beloved Grandmother passed away. I fell hard into grief, much harder than I ever thought I would.

March

The funeral was on March 8th. By my mother’s request, I sang two songs in the funeral. It is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. After I finished the second song, I sobbed, clinging to my mother. I’m glad I did it.

Grief stuck harder to me than I expected, while at the same time I was trying to plan a wedding and get into shape. Things were falling apart and I didn’t even know it.

April

One little fight triggered the event that I will never forget. Mr Pharmacist came to the conclusion that he couldn’t marry me. Already deep in grief over the loss of my grandmother, I fell head first into a very deep depression.

Some royals got married two days after my own wedding was called off. It was weird to watch on television. Everything around me was about marriage and my heart was broken.

May

A dark month. Started searching for a new place to live. My mother came to visit and we saw Roger Waters’ The Wall together. A great evening. Well timed, as I was falling completely apart by the time my mother arrived.

June

I ran Race For Life. I packed. I moved. I tried to get back into the swing of things. I had to withdraw from the modules I was studying at Open University, because I wasn’t coping with the work. Spent too much money. Tried to figure out what I wanted with my life. I was reunited with my darling guinea pigs two weeks after moving. I loved them already, but during this time they became the strongest happiness I had.

July

Slowly started putting myself back together. Enrolled in acting and musical theatre classes. Mother visited again with Vigdis, who I’ve known since 2nd grade. The three of us saw Take That. Twice. I started going to lots of west end shows, and a sense of normality was restored, somewhat. Then July 22nd came along, with a bomb and a massacre in Norway. I didn’t sleep properly for days. I cried until there were no more tears. I spent many evenings in the Norwegian church. Life around me kept moving forward at the usual pace, while I was in yet another emotional turmoil.

August

Then there were riots. At this point I stopped being able to feel much of anything. I smelt the burn in the air and heard ambulances going down my street almost non stop. I also turned 33. I saw The Hired Man at Landor Theatre, and it moved me so deeply emotionally that I cried for ten minutes after it finished. I had to go to the toilet to compose myself before leaving the theatre.

September

I had tonsillitis. When I wasn’t sick, I took Zumba, Ballet, Musical Theatre and Tap classes. I saw 9 shows, took a quick trip to Norway, and my friends pc and Julie got engaged. I introduced them, and couldn’t be more pleased.

October

I ran another charity run, this time for PAPYRUS – prevention of young suicide hotline. I saw 6 shows, and went to Atlanta to see Beth. I got a tiny bit of American Halloween and it was just as awesome as I’d hoped it would be.

November

Beth, Amanda and I went to the Bahamas for the week I was supposed to get married, to try and cheer me up. It didn’t work.

I started learning Mandarin, and considered going back to school.

December

More dancing, more singing, more musical theatre. Plus Christmas crafting, a Christmas party with unexpected after effects, and finally Christmas. Christmas was divine. My mum took excellent care of me, and I felt the calmest I had done since April. And on December 30th I finally got my tattoo of Tinkerbell.

New years eve was spent with two lovely couples, eating great food and drinking great wine and Champagne. I recovered some of who I once was, and started the new year feeling accepted and appreciated.

 

And now what? That will be the next post.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

I have spent a lot of time, money and energy on my passion this year. I wanted to motivate myself into transforming my experiences into blog posts and other writing by “cheating” at nanowrimo, the national novel writing month. As what I’m trying to do is to get into the habit of writing about musical theatre, I’m not writing fiction. Technically, I’m not writing a novel. But that doesn’t really matter to me, I can be a rebel! Can I manage to write 50,000 words about musical theatre in the next 3 1/2 weeks? Probably not, but I’m going to give it a damn good go anyway.

From today, I will primarily use my blog to post musical theatre reviews and speculations/thoughts/anecdotes from the last six months of my life, which has been primarily focused on musical theatre. I am aiming for at least a post a day for the next month, although I do plan to space out the actual postings so that you don’t get bombarded with everything at once. If you’re reading this from livejournal, I’ve decided to stop cross posting these sort of entries to other servers. If you’re interested, you’re welcome to view my blog in its original location.

So here goes nothing!

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

The ex and I bought GroupOn vouchers a while back, intending to have bright white smile for our wedding pictures. As we all know, that didn’t work out, but the vouchers expire next week, so we booked to use them yesterday.

I wasn’t 100% happy. Don’t get me wrong, I can see a massive difference. But the “bedside” manner of the girl who treated me wasn’t great. There were two staff members there, one for each of us. They explained the procedure and told us it would be three lots of 15 minutes. All seemed fine at first, but during the first lot of 15 minutes, I suddenly felt a shooting pain in a tooth and got really concerned. I raised my hand and they stopped the procedure, and we agreed to try and avoid the tooth after that. The rest didn’t hurt.

In my second rinse break, I asked Mr Pharmacist if he’d had any pain, and as he said no, the girl said “He’s really brave, not a peep out of him!” I really felt as if I was being belittled for being worried, after I was in actual pain. Mr Pharmacist told me he could hear that I was crying – which I was because I was really scared. The two also spent most of the time complaining about their work situation while we were lying there having blue lights shone on our teeth.

I wouldn’t go there again. Sure, my teeth look great, but their bedside manner wasn’t great. The after-care details was supposed to come through in email, but we got nothing. The only real advice we got can be summed up as “just eat white stuff” and “google it”. I would never, ever pay full price for anything at The Harley Laser Specialists. I didn’t feel very looked after.

On the other hand, my teeth do look great.

Before picture:

After Picture:

White!

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

A bit tacky to boast about fat loss really, but I’ve busted my ass to get this far.

I present: September 19th.

 

I had already slimmed down a bit at this point.

But since then, something has really changed.

I present: October 7th.

I have dropped a jeans size.

I am so goddamn proud of myself. It’s not any crash diet. I am eating sensibly, watching my portion sizes, and exercising a lot. I’m starting to feel a lot better about myself and my confidence is growing. This is GREAT.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

A week ago, I saw Love Never Dies in the West End, the day before it closed. I had heard very little good about the show, a sequel to the long running Phantom of the Opera, and decided to go simply because it was about to close and I got a good deal.

Let me warn you right now, this is going to get really long. Not only are there thoughts about what I saw last Friday, but also the version on the concept album, AKA the musical prior to all the rewrites. There’s so much to say about Love Never Dies, but before I even start, we have to talk about Phantom.

Let’s recap what happens in Phantom of the Opera, for those who are unfamiliar with it! Little mutilated orphan boy is saved from a travelling circus by a dancing teacher who takes him to live in the opera where she works. He grows up in what can best be described as a cave underneath the opera and unsurprisingly doesn’t grow up to be a functioning member of society. The nice version: he’s a bit mad and a genius. The more honest version: He’s a great musician, but a stalker and all-around lunatic who has no scruples or consideration for other people. He is not a nice chap.

Then there’s Christine, little orphan girl who is also taken in by the same dancing teacher, Madame Giry, and grows up with her daughter Meg. They’re like sisters. This will be important later.

From this point, the Phantom effectively grooms Christine by pretending to be a ghost speaking through a mirror and teaching her to sing. Through his couching, and more importantly frequent sabotage activities of the opera, Christine ends up the star of the opera.

Enter Raoul. He’s rich, he’s pretty, he’s mad for Christine. The Phantom promptly loses his shit and kinda kidnaps Christine, taking her to his secret lair where he amongst other things shows her a doll version of her wearing a wedding dress. The Phantom is all like omg I love you and Christine passes out. Later, she wakes up and watches him compose, and takes his mask off. The Phantom loses his shit again. He does this a lot. Then he chills and takes her back.

Then there’s this long big where the Phantom loses his shit again and kills some people and trashes the opera. Christine sensibly decided that perhaps this is too fucked up and turns to Raoul. Love is declared, etc, the Phantom hears, and promptly loses his shit again. Are we detecting a pattern here yet?

Whatever, it doesn’t work out, Christine marries Raoul. The rest is not that important. The more important point is that this is considered a bit of a love story between Christine and the Phantom, and many people would’ve wanted them to end up together.

So in short: Christine, Madame Giry and Meg are like family. Secretly, Madame Giry is also like a mother to the Phantom. Christine marries Raoul and goes off to be rich and happy, and we don’t know what happened to the Phantom. It is implied he still lives.

 

Time for a breather. Personally, I don’t really like Phantom of the Opera that much. The music isn’t amazing and the story is unbelievable on so many levels, most importantly why would Christine feel any draw to this batshit crazy man after all the fucked up stuff he does? Apparently she’s supposed to be torn between them, but I never could understand why. It has a couple of good songs, but I never fell in love with it.

Before I start writing about the show I saw on Friday, I need to point out that this is a show that went through several rewrites and is very different from the story on the cast album. I will address the latest version of the show first, and then go back to the cast album, which I’ve been listening to all week.

 

Love Never Dies takes place in USA, more specifically in Coney Island, ten years after the end of the original show. The first scene starts with the previously mentioned Christine doll (which can now walk) and the Phantom lamenting the loss of Christine, and that he won’t feel real again until he hears her sing again. It’s a great song, beautifully performed by the quite frankly delicious Ramin Karimloo,  who not only has a great voice, but a gripping stage presence. (Fun fact: he has a cameo as Christine’s father in the 2004 movie, during the time he was playing Phantom in the original show in London.)

I mean, look at this. Phwoar. The passion between the two is unmistakeable.I can see why Christine would like him. From the first scene it seems clear that we’re dealing with a calmer, less crazy Phantom at this point. He probably wouldn’t even kill anyone!

Cut to the introduction of the Coney Island freak show, where there’s weird dancers and singers and it all looks like a lot of fun. It is run by Mdm. Giry, and Meg is the star of the show. They read the paper, and find that Christine with family are on their way to New York, as Christine has been hired to sing at Hammerstein’s new opera house (nice touch). They bitch about about how Christine abandoned The Phantom, but they looked after him and remained true to him. This is my first problem with the show. The Girys were there, they remember what happened. So she abandoned the man who tried to kill her boyfriend. Wow, what a disgrace. Only this part gets kinda ironic later.

Raoul, Christine and their son Gustave arrives in New York, and are picked up by a coach led by three people from the Coney Island show, who pretend they come from Hammerstein, and instead sort of kind of kidnaps them down to Coney Island. No one in the family seems to notice something is up here. Oh and btw, Raoul is a mean drunk who has gambled away all their money, which is why they are here in the first place. They need cash.

At the hotel (Phantom’s house, effectively), Raoul bitches and moans, while Gustave tries to get him to play with him. A message arrives from “Hammerstein” to meet him in the bar, so Raoul leaves. Christine has a tender moment with Gustave before sending him to bed. She picks up the music box her son was playing with, and it plays a melody from the original show. Enter Phantom.

Christine is all like “I should’ve known. This music has you all over it.” That is the music I would assume she’s just gotten and is to perform the following night, which makes no sense. New music? The day before a performance? What? Anyway, they sing a song that is all about how Christine sought out the Phantom the night before she got married and they dun did it in the dark. But he feels bad or something, and runs off. That’s right, let that sink in. The Phantom had sex with Christine and then leaves her in the dark by herself. Nice! So she marries Raoul after all.

….has the penny dropped yet?

The next day, Christine and Raoul are reunited with Meg and Madam Giry, having no idea they would be there. Meg and Madame Giry are just as surprised, not realising until this moment that Christine is due to sing here. At no point do anyone point out that this is not the Hammerstein Theatre. But whatever, logic. Who cares. Meg, who is desperate for the Phantom’s attention, is quite upset. Her mother on the other hand, is angry. Raoul, after going on about the contract and the high fee they have been promised, is informed who the owner of the theatre is, and promptly loses his shit. It’s like a personality switch between him and the Phantom! (Did he have a contract with Hammerstein? I am still not sure how any of this was explained.)

Gustave, who loves all the weirdness of Coney Island, is taken to the phantom to see his “world of illusions”, which includes a hilarious half woman, half skeleton pushing a cart. Basically the legs are a woman’s legs, and the top is a skeleton. I am so sorry I have no picture of this, it’s hilarious. I love the entirety of this scene. Gustav explores the room, at one point picking up a gun, which the Phantom, still looking at his score, casually takes from him and puts away.

Gustave starts playing the piano, playing a song he’s composing about how he things all this is so beautiful. I get a bit annoyed by the kid at this point to be honest, he’s a bit too precious and it gets a bit dull. The Phantom however suddenly gets that holy shit this is totally my kid.

This culminates into this amazing duet called The Beauty Underneath, where the Phantom and Gustave sing about how much they love all the weird shit out there. It’s like a love song to freaks and my favourite song of the show. Unfortunately the Phantom feels a bit too encouraged by all this acceptance and decides to expose his unmasked face to Gustave. Gustave screams like a hyena and runs off.

Enter Christine, and they have a bit of a show down, where he makes her admit that, yeah, totally the Phantom’s kid. The Phantom is delighted! He will give everything he has to his son. But unfortunately Madame Giry hears it all, has a angry rant about it, takes the gun the Phantom left behind and leaves, with a determined look on her face.

End of act one.

At this point, I was delighted. It was exciting, actually a lot of fun, and the music was so much better than in Phantom. Not to mention that the Phantom is in it almost the entire time, unlike the original show where he is not nearly in it enough, in my opinion. So some of it made little sense when put against the original, but I didn’t care so much.

Unfortunately, then act two happened.

Raoul is drunk in a bar. Meg comes bursting in all wet, getting a coffee. Apparently this is where she pops in every morning after swimming. She warns Raoul to take his family and leave, to no avail. Raoul pouts some more, and suddenly the bartender! Is! The Phantom! UNMASKED! He’s unmasked in this a lot, actually. I quite like that.

Raoul and The Phantom have an excellent song together, Devil Takes The Hindmost, where they make a completely unfair bet that if Christine sings, Raoul leaves them all and goes back to France. On the other hand if Christine doesn’t sing but goes with Raoul instead, they get lots of money and the Phantom leaves them alone forever. Oh, and the Phantom kind of lets it slip that Gustave may not be Raoul’s kid. Nice one!

This part really pissed me off. They are making a life changing bet behind Christine’s back, forcing her to make a choice between them without actually making a choice at all, as no one tells her about any of this.

The concert begins! Meg does this weird number called Bathing Beauty, in which she changes swimming costume five or so times. She gets a great round of applause and is delighted. She meets her mother backstage and is certain that the Phantom must’ve watched her, only to be disappointed again to be told that the Phantom is in Christine’s dressing room.

Both gentlemen do a bit of a song and dance for Christine, urging her to sing or not sing, respectively.

Shocker: she sings.

After the song finishes, she finds a letter from Raoul saying he’s leaving. And no one can find Gustave anywhere.

Guess what happened! No, no. You’re wrong. The angry woman with a gun did not take the child. She’s there, saying she would never ever hurt the child (then what was the gun for, woman?!), but she can’t find Meg, either.

That’s right, Meg took Gustave, and is about to push him off a pier when stopped by the Phantom. Meg also has the gun. The Phantom tries to calm her, but for no good reason whatsoever, Meg waves the gun around a bit, it goes off in her hand, and Christine is shot.

Christine dies, but not before telling Gustave that actually, this weirdo here is his real dad. Gustave runs off, only to return with Raoul, who holds the dead Christine and hugs Gustave, before Gustave gets up, goes over to the Phantom, and they hug.

The end.

Sooooo… Love Never Dies, apart from that it totally does, because Christine dies. I did sort of see that coming, but at the hands of Madama Giry, as she did have the gun and the motive and everything. But instead Meg, whose anger and despair wasn’t so clear to me in the show, goes apeshit and almost kills a child. I was completely overwhelmed with WTF at this, because it makes absolutely no sense to me. Story and character development suffers a lot in this show. It’s really sad that Lloyd Webber is seen as having full blame of the way the show worked out, as he didn’t write the story or the lyrics. Of course he is part responsible, but the thing is, the music is really, really good. It is probably my favourite music of his, ever.

Yeah, I didn’t see that coming either.

 

Sideshow: I’ve been listening to the “concept album” with the cast for the last week, and there are some notable differences.

It starts with a prologue about the Coney Island show, setting the stage for where we are and what’s going on. This goes on for the first six songs, until the Phantom finally appears in song 7. I can see how this would’ve been a bit overlong on stage (and I tend to skip the first few tracks on the album, too), but it does set up Madame Giry and Meg as two people who have suffered greatly for the Phantom in the last ten years, making money for him while he was still in a freak show in New York, saving up so that he could buy it. They seem to have sacrificed their whole lives for him, so their later anger makes more sense in this context.

Another major difference: before the rewrite, Christine and Raoul know the entire time they’re going to Coney Island, they’re not shanghaied as they embark from the both. They know they’re somewhere weird because they need the money, nothing else. That Christine had the music already makes sense in this context, because she would’ve been given what to sing as part of the contract. Instead of being lured off to a meeting, moody abusive Raoul goes to the bar to drink, leaving Christine alone for the Phantom to come to her.

The reunion song with Christine, Raoul, Madame Giry and Meg make a lot more sense when the four of them had no idea the others were anywhere near them. Meg, who thought The Phantom was composing for her, is heartbroken. Madame Giry and Raoul for some reason hate each other and don’t greet each other happily at all. Oh, the song is called My Dear Old Friend. Oh, what irony. It still makes no sense to me that these people who were like family have not stayed in touch at all over the past ten years, but I guess explaining that would take even more time? This anger still seems confusing to me, but can perhaps be explained by the extremely shitty time Madame and Meg Giry have had.

After this, it’s more or less the same, from what I can recall. Now in Meg’s last song it’s either a case of me not hearing it, or it being rewritten, but a distraught Meg describes what she has gone through for the Phantom.

[MEG]
I took a little trip to Coney Island;
I took a little trip, because of you.
I did as Mother said,
And followed where you led,
And tried to do what little I could do.

Well,
Here’s the way it works on Coney Island:
They make you pay for every little crumb
I gave what they would take;
I gave it for your sake.
Now look at me,
And see what I’ve become.

Bathing beauty on the beach;
Bathing beauty in her dressing room.
Bathing beauty in the dark;
On their laps, in their arms,
In their beds!

[MADAME GIRY]
Meg! My little Meg…

[PHANTOM]
What are you saying?

[MEG]
Who helped you raise the money?
Who helped the permits come through?
Who greased the wheels
Of your high flying deals;
Bought you time when the bills came due?

Who swayed the local bosses?
Curried favor with the press?
Oh, not her!

And who kept singing–
Desperate for your favor?
Who kept dancing–
Hoping you would save her?
Who kept dying,
And this is what you gave her?

 

In their beds. Meg gave everything, even her body, to keep the show going, to keep the Phantom happy. And he didn’t even give her any attention.

This is the point where I’m a bit like fuck you, everybody. Why aren’t you properly telling THAT story? If I completely missed it on stage, then maybe it wasn’t clear enough! It’s a complete and utter tragedy, that’s quickly swept under the rug as the focus goes back on the Phantom and Christine, and the glorious death scene. Meg? She just slinks off somewhere. I’d say she probably killed herself.

 

The sad thing about all of this is that this could’ve been a really powerful show. The music is amazing and has made me remember that Andrew Lloyd Webber is a composer and not just resting on his laurels and appearing in reality tv every now and then. The performances of everyone on stage, including the annoying child actor, were generally really good. The costuming and staging was really impressive, the orchestration was beautiful.. And yet it was such a mess of a story.

What a waste.

I do hope that one day, the show is reworked so that it does itself justice. There was so much amazing stuff going on in the show, but it didn’t fit together or make much sense. The potential is so great. Maybe in ten years we’ll see another version of this show that finally works from start to finish.

The “Phans” will never like it, however. It differs so much from the original musical it may as well be different characters. For a purist, this will never be acceptable. But I’d like to end with a quote from my friend Rachel, who saw the show long before me; “Christine is a lot less annoying in this one”. Well said, Rachel.

I’d take it a bit further though, I like all the characters more in this incarnation. And if I, with great effort, look past the plot and development problems, I kind of really adore Love Never Dies.

Sorry.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

Having problems with my blog cross posting, so here is a copy and paste for you.




FUCK YOU. You know NOTHING about how prepared we were as a nation. You do not know about the multiple exercises our country had to prepare for a scenario like this.

We will NOT harden security and our society. Our society is open. Access to our government is easy. The royal family was out in the street with the people and limited security this weekend. This is who we are. This is not going to change. We refuse to live in fear. We will NOT give in to paranoia and fear. And to suggest that we are not protecting our people is INSULTING. Who the FUCK are you to tell us how to build our own society? You say you were in Norway as a diplomat, please don't come back. It's our country, it's not for you. Norway is NOT under a great threat of Islamic terrorism. THIS wasn't Islamic terrorism. What is WRONG with you??

"This is not a time for finger-pointing" you say, but you are blaming us for our attacker. FUCK you.


Then there's this:
Glenn Beck, the rightwing US broadcaster and Tea Party favourite, has compared those who were massacred on the Norwegian island of Utøya to the Nazi party's youth wing.

"There was a shooting at a political camp, which sounds a little like the Hitler youth, or, whatever. I mean, who does a camp for kids that's all about politics. Disturbing," said Beck on his syndicated radio show.

You despicable human being.

I feel I need to comment on something on twitter. I did not in any way suggest that it was not okay to be sad about Amy Winehouse’s tragic death. That’s not how I felt about out it, and it still not. Yes, it’s sad. Addiction is a horrible thing. My mother has worked with addicts for most of my life, and I’m fully aware of how addiction ruins families. I don’t at all feel like Amy Winehouse deserved what happened to her or that the death of an addict isn’t sad.  I did not say or mean to imply that it was not okay to be sad about Amy Winehouse.

But I felt, and still do, like my friend Laura in Canada tweeted:

It kinda makes me sick to see all these celebs tweeting “RIP Amy Winehouse” yet saying nothing about Norway. Are people aware what happened?

Gut reaction is basically “do you not care what happened to us?” If that comes across as not being able to see beyond my own tragedy right now, it’s because I can’t. I’m a big ball of grief and hurt.

Maria Mena was asked to re-record Mitt Lille Land (my little country) by Ole Paus. This video, with clips from news stories and the song playing over, reflects a lot of how I feel.

Mitt lille land

Mitt lille land
Et lite sted, en håndfull fred slengt ut blant vidder og fjord

Mitt lille land
Der høye fjell står plantet mellom hus og mennesker og ord
Og der stillhet og drømmer gror
Som et ekko i karrig jord

Mitt lille land
Der havet stryker mildt og mykt som kjærtegn fra kyst til kyst

Mitt lille land
Der stjerner glir forbi og blir et landskap når det blir lyst
mens natten står blek og tyst

Translation by Helene on her blog

My little country
A little place, a handful of peace thrown out among mountain plateau and fjords

My little country
Where high mountains are planted among houses, people and words
Where silence and dreams grow
Like an echo in barren earth

My little country
Where the sea pats mild and soft like it’s caressing from coast to coast

My little country
Where stars glide by and becomes landscapes when it gets lighter
while the night stands there – bleak and silent

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

To recap, a Norwegian home-grown terrorist placed a bomb in the parliment square in Oslo, killing seven. It transpired during the evening that this was in part a diversion for his next act: attacking and killing teenage political activists at the Norwegian Labour Party’s annual summer camps. At least 84 are confirmed dead. It is a tragedy, a terrorist act, the worst thing to have happened in Norway since world war two.

I’ve been watching a lot of news and keeping in touch with family. I ran out of battery on my phone on Saturday because I spent so much time refreshing news sites when I was out and about. There are so many thoughts, and there have been so many tears. I went out drinking with a friend and ended up in a bar where the DJ played two songs by A-Ha for me and I ended up sobbing on the dance floor. A stranger pulled me away and into the bathroom and held me as I cried. I have been overwhelmed by all the feedback I’ve gotten from friends here and elsewhere. I am grief-stricken and in shock, and feel isolated with my grief and wish I was in Oslo so I could be out in the streets with my friends to try to digest this.

My mother said something that is very indicative of our country: “I’m relieved it wasn’t a Muslim”. None of us want a terrorist attack, but the effect on society if this was, as first thought, an Al-Qaeda related attack, could have been fuel to a fire we’re seeing burning too strongly already. That it is indeed this fire that struck us as a nation is like a bucket of ice.

I am so proud of my country. I am so proud of my people. I am so proud of the politicians and media, who are all preaching restraint and compassion. No one that I have seen are trying to enrage the masses. It’s muted, it’s quiet, there are tears in public. Our politicians and royal family have been out in public to grieve with the people with limited security. As the prime minister said, we need more democracy, more openness.

I’m seeing people saying that once it was made clear the terrorist was Norwegian, the media stopped calling him a terrorist. I want to make it completely clear that this is not the case in Norway. He is described as a terrorist in all media, and the incident as a terrorist attack. This is crystal clear to us. We know what this was. We know what he is. And we all condemn it by refusing to do what he wanted us to. There is little talk about increasing security or limiting freedom of speech, or even of increasing the maximum prison sentence of 21 years. Norwegians are responding by showing each other affection and love. Love letters in the form of music and video are popping up all over the place. Our little country is hurting and we’re clinging to each other to keep it together. I may be outside the country and have not lived in Norway for five years but I am a Norwegian. And my heart is with everyone back home.

We love Oslo and this will not change us as a country. We will not let this destroy everything that is so important to the nation. He wanted change, he wanted revolution. He will not get what he wanted. He has failed. We are not scared. We are strong.

One great thing: people who knew his mother have reached out to her with flowers and words of comfort. There are quotes in the media from people who love her and are worried for her. Everyone seem to be understanding that she is having a rough time and need our compassion and support as well. As my friend Anniken said: “She must be going through hell.” Our love and sympathy extends to and includes her.

 

I want to compile some of the more important things I’ve read in the last days for my own benefit. Some of the links will go to Norwegian language sites. This post will be updated with more links.

Øyvind Strømmen – who is the terrorist?

Image of Utøya from a postcard to show the size of the Island

All comments by terrorists posted at document.no

Huffington Post: Norway passing the test of terror

Prableen Kaur’s account of what happened at Utøya

 

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

I am freaking the fuck out.

A massive bomb blast has hit government buildings in the Norwegian capital Oslo, killing at least seven people and injuring 15 others.

12 dead in double terrorist attack in Norway as car bomb blast hits government office block and man opens fire at youth summer camp

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

Today I signed the papers that transfers ownership of my property away from me and to my ex. It was a sad moment, sending it off in the post. It doesn’t feel like my property any more (I haven’t lived there for a month now) but it still feels weird. Very shortly I will no longer be a property owner. Readers of my blog know how much time and energy I put into that place with all the work we did on it, and it is with mixed feelings I let it go.

Sure, the money will be lovely. Really lovely. I will pay off most of my student loans and all of my credit card debt (the later has grown significantly in the moving process). I won’t have a mortgage, which is great. And I have a lot of free time now that I spend going out. I go to exercise classes, the theatre, acting classes, the cinema, I’ve even been to the opera! I’m filling my time with nice things I want to do.

The new flatmate is a lovely bloke and we’re getting on really well. The piggies are getting more and more used to him as they’re handled and fed more by this tall bearded stranger. Apollo in particular seems fascinated with his beard. Speaking of the boys, they have a large new cage with two stories (and a mezzanine level) where they run about a lot and seem much happier. They’ve both lost a little weight since the move, I suspect it’s due to having more space for exercise. Neither of them dare make their way up the steps to level 2, although I did have them up on it the other day and they were fine there. I got Apollo to go downstairs with a bit of gentle nudging along, but Starbuck is a wimpy little thing and when I try to put his front paw on the top of the stairs to make him feel it, he squeals like I’m torturing him, escapes from my hands and runs to the nearest corner of the cage and presses himself into the side of the cage. My poor little wimpy pig.

I’m very excited about taking acting classes, I started last Saturday and it was good fun. From next week I also take musical theatre on Wednesdays, and I’m planning on doing Tap Dancing eventually, too.

I do miss Mr Pharmacist a great deal. It’s weird going through your days without your best friend. I’m not used to doing so much and not telling him about everything. He visited me this Sunday to see the piggies and give me my post. It was very emotional. I try to remind myself that it’s perfectly normal to not be over a breakup immediately.

I’m on a higher dose of meds at the moment and it really does help. It doesn’t stop the depression completely but it’s easier to get out of bed in the morning, which is the important part. I’m trying to let go of it, to move beyond the first part of this year. So goodbye, my lovely home. I really liked owning you for the last 2.5 years.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

I’m still alive! I moved last weekend so my time before that was filled with flat viewings and then packing, and I don’t currently have internet at home in the new flat.

My new flatmate moves in on Friday, and I’m hoping to pick up the piggies this weekend. So far it’s a messy, quiet place and a bit lonely, and I have no bed. I sleep on an inflatable mattress which is not that comfortable but I’ll survive.

 

Tonight I shall see Lend Me A Tenor at the Gielgud theatre. I realised earlier is the 6th thing I’m seeing there*, which makes me smile. I’ve bought myself a new Theatre journal and intend to make records of everything I see from now on. Should be good!

I’ve watched the last three years of Tony awards and feel ridiculously excited and inspired about theatre. This is A Good Thing.

I promise more about the stage in my next post!

 

*1. Cabaret 2. Equus 3. Six Characters in search of an Author 4. Hair 5. Macbeth

 

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

It’s been over a month, and I’m finally about to move out. My new flatmate Chris and I found a suitable place in South London that we’re probably moving in to in a week and a half. The biggest relief is that my “babies” are accepted by the landlady, so I don’t have to sneak in the piggies. Mr Pharmacist and I are getting on fine, although it’ll be weird after I’ve moved, I wonder how much contact we’ll have. Impossible to say, really. But there are no hard feelings and life goes on.

And the piggies are so cute. They’re 11 months old now!

Apollo is a little fatty

And he doesn’t like to be held like that, but I assure you it was only for a few seconds to get the picture!

Apollo in happier snuggly mode on my chest.

Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with his eye. For some reason his skin sags a little sometimes and exposes the skin underneath the eyes. It looks a bit funny but the vet says he’s fine.

Starbuck likes even less to be held with his belly exposed.

Look at that little pouty lip!

I got a second pic where he wriggles a bit but you can actually see the orange patch on his stomach. I’d had him for months before I saw that for the first time.

It matches the patch on his head. Apollo has a smaller orange patch on his side, so I’m thinking at least one parent was probably orange.

Post-traumatic weird-hold disorder..

“MOMMY I R TRAUMATIZED”

 

It’s okay, we were snuggly again straight away.

Boob-snuggle! My rack is an appropriate pillow for a guinea pig, I’ve come to realise.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

I’m currently enjoying playing a Druid Night Elf whose professions are herbalism and alchemy. Gathering herbs is on the agenda for me today – the self made agenda, that is. And I’ve been at it for ages, running around Teldrassil trying to find some herb.

I complained to my husbandwife, heather, on aim.

[7:30 PM] self: trying desperately to get to level 120 with herbalism
[7:30 PM] heather: i love herbing
[7:30 PM] heather: but since i usually play hunters, it’s nearly impossible
[7:31 PM] self: but it takes soooooooo long
[7:31 PM] heather: cause i have all the types of enemies i can get flagged on my minimap
[7:31 PM] heather: so i never see where herbs are.
[7:31 PM] heather: cause i’m like IS THAT A THING TO KILL OR A FLOWER
[7:32 PM] self: …you just hover over over to see?
[7:32 PM] heather: yeah, but you can turn on herbs in your minimap
[7:32 PM] heather: and they show up as a yellow dot
[7:33 PM] self: is that an add-on
[7:33 PM] heather: but then, so do all non-aggro creatures.
[7:33 PM] heather: no, click the magnifying glass
[7:33 PM] heather: and click whatever in there says something about herbs.
[7:33 PM] self: MOTHERFUCKER
[7:33 PM] heather: hahahaha

 

I really should read my strategy guide or something.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.

After much deliberation I have decided to give London another year. Moving back to Norway was very much on the cards, and remains a long-term option. But not now, not yet. I can’t give up on the city that I love, I’m just not ready.

I’ve spent a lot of time talking to my parents in the last few weeks and my mother has stressed that she thinks this may be a good time to try and get back to the thing that matter most to me, my music. She told me that she didn’t even dare bring it up in the past because I always looked like I was going to burst into tears if she mentioned it.

And I miss playing, or rather I miss performing, so very much. It’s like an ache deep in my heart that I’ve tried to tell that it’s okay that I didn’t really go for it, that I’d made my choices, that this was my life now. But now I will end up with no mortgage, enough money to pay off my student loans and the opportunity to steer my life in a different direction. I have to take it.

I’m looking into recording equipments that will interface with my electronic piano and plan to start recording music in the near future. I will challenge myself and my insecurities by posting my recordings online, which is something I’m terrified of. I am scared of the trolls. I’m scared of being told I’m crap. I’m scared of trying and failing. But I have to, I have to. I owe myself this much, to at least give my music an honest shot instead of letting fear stop me, like it has for SO long. I need to start taking some chances again.

If not now, then I never will. I dodged a bullet of mortgage, marriage and children. Deep down, this was not the life I really wanted for myself.

I want art.
I want passion.
I want life to be more than what it has been.

I promise to be honest. I promise to give of myself. I promise to try and try and fail and get better and try harder. I promise to sing. I promise to write. I promise.

Mirrored from This Space Blank Comment here or there.